Somewhere between a rock and a hard place.....

I always found that to be an odd saying but lately I have felt like I live it. I have had to have some tough conversations lately with some people I really care about. I prayed heavily about the decisions I knew had to be made and trusted God that everything will be alright.

I have not been happy with my current living situation. (i.e. my roommates). It's not that I don't like my roommates because I do, they are all my friends and I don't want to lose that friendship but I knew that if I continued with the way things were going that friendship might be forever lost. I currently live with 3 other girls in a small 2 bedroom apartment. I share a room with my best friend Katie and we are great, no problems there. In fact we are most likely going to get a different apartment together when our current lease is up in May. The other two girls Abigail and Sarah share a room. Again let me stress I still care about these girls and value their friendship very much, I just can't live with them. I feel like I can't be me and that is a HUGE problem. I need to be free to invite friends over, talk about whatever I want to talk about and do what I want in the place where I live. Last Sunday night we had a roommate talk, there were tears and feelings were hurt. It was so hard but I knew I had to do it. I never want to have to go through that again. I am trusting in God to bring healing and peace to those relationships.

The other tough decision was related to the ministry that I am involved in. Campus ministry is the college ministry at Marian University. I was very actively involved in it though out my 4 years as a student at Marian, I was the vice-president my junior and senior year. I loved this ministry and it was my way of sharing my faith with others. Recently there have been a lot of battles with this ministry and my friend and I who are also working with Campus Crusade for Christ felt the need to step away from Campus ministry. It is so hard to let go of something I have held so dear to me. Campus Ministry is where I met my college friends and holds all my fondest memories of college. So in my stubbornness, I said no to God, I said you must be joking, how can I still witness to others and be effective for Your kingdom if I say goodbye to Campus Ministry. God reminded my that my ways are not His ways and that He really does know best. Next semester things will look different at how I reach out to students at Marian but I will still be reaching out to them. I am not walking away from my "mission field." Even though I graduated last May, I still feel like God has placed me here for this time to be a witness to the lost at Marian.

So basically what I am saying is that life has been rough lately and I am really looking forward to sometimes of refreshment. I am trusting and waiting for the next move.