Waiting on Him

Do you ever feel second best? Like your not good enough for people? No matter how much you try and try and try, it doesn't matter you simply fall short and aren't good enough. Do you ever feel like you are only good enough when you are with some one more "popular" ? When you are not with certain people than other people don't find you good enough to even talk to. Do you ever just wish that someone would notice you and just you?

I know that God loves me and cares for me. I also know that I have family and friends who love and care about me. So why does it matter so much that some people don't like me? Or that I don't have as many friends as I would like? As a child of God, I should be concerned with only one thing, and that one thing is God! He has the only opinion that should matter, right? So than why is it so hard when I see people around me flourishing and having tons of friends? I should be happy for them, right? I hate the flesh, why do I let it get to me? Sometimes I think we give in to our emotions and get too carried away with them. I'm trying not to let the opinions of this world get to me.....but it's not as easy as it sounds.

Again, I know that God has a plan for my life and whatever it is will be better than I could ever dream of. But how long do I have to wait? When will something amazing happen to me? (I'm starting to sound selfish again). Lately in my prayer life I have been throwing a lot of why questions at God, most of the time I don't even wait for Him to respond.....But he wants to. He longs to. I am His daughter, I need to listen to and respect my Father. Last night my prayer time went a little differently....instead of hurling a bunch of why questions at God, I thanked Him for what He has given me so far and just cried out to my Father who is always listening. And I listened for His response. Lets just say, I did a lot of apologizing and am allowing God to work on my broken heart. I know He never said it would be easy, but He did say I would never have to go alone.

Nephews

This little boy turned 3 years old

He loves Thomas the Train and his little brother!

Time

My cousin decided to end her life on thursday, I am completely shocked by the news. I had no idea things had gotten so bad for her. I will miss her, I played with her when we were younger because our dads are close. It really made me sad to think that life could be so bad that you think the only way out is to take your own life. It also reminded me of just how important it is to share the Gospel with people I love. (and those I don't know as well). We never know when it will be our time to go or our loved ones. We need to seize every opportunity we have to tell others about Jesus! I know that I have always known this but circumstances like this just remind you all the more.

Here is a verse that a friend shared with me today that was comforting:

Isaiah 55: 8-9 " My thoughts are nothing like your thoughts" says the LORD, " And my ways are far beyond anything you could imagine. For just as the heavens are higher than the earth, so my ways are higher than your ways and my thoughts higher than your thoughts."

I do not have all the answers nor do I claim to but I know who does, that person is God. I can not even begin to comprehend all that He does but I trust in Him. I know that He loves me and desires what is best for me and all His children.

I will miss you Anna Young.

Fall

Here are a few reasons why I love fall......


frolicking in the park!



Picnics in the park!

Jumping in the leaves!

And Carmel Apples!!

By The Power of Your Name By Lincoln Brewster

Surely children weren't made for the streets

And fathers were not made to leave

Surely this isn't how it should be

Let Your Kingdom come

Surely nations were not made for war

Or the broken meant to be ignored

Surely this just can't be what You saw

Let Your Kingdom come

Here in my heart

And I will live

To carry on compassion

To love a world that's broken

To be Your hands and feet

I will give

With the life that I've been given

And go beyond religion

To see your world be changed

By the power of Your name

Surely life wasn't made to regret

And the lost were not made to forget

Surely faith without action is dead

Let Your Kingdom come

Lord break this heart

Your name

Is a shelter for the hurting

Jesus Your name

Is a refuge for the weak

Only Your name

Can redeem the undeserving

Jesus Your name

Holds everything I need

Surely children weren't made for the streets

And fathers were not made to leave

Surely this isn't how it should be

Addison Road - What Do I Know Of Holy w/Lyrics

I heard a really great song tonight and just wanted to share it....take a listen to it for yourself! Just click below to listen

Addison Road - What Do I Know Of Holy w/Lyrics

Hope you enjoy the above song as much as I do!

Update on my life

Life has been crazy lately, my work schedule has been changing on a regular basis and I'm learning to just go with it.....I worked my first double shift (16hours!) a few weeks ago and that was totally crazy, I have added shifts here and there and lost them as well. I am really starting to enjoy my job, I think, It seems like every time I admit that I like my job something terrible at work happens and than the cycle starts over and I dread going to work! I am trying to gain a new attitude towards work and see every day as a new day and not let yesterdays troubles ruin my new day!

I am really enjoying being able to help out with the college ministry here and God is showing me so much through it all, for example...I need to let go of my plans, God's plans are not my plans, His are even better! (see Jeremiah 29:11) Sometimes its difficult to see this right away but I know that with everything that happens God is teaching me something new through the situation. A great example of this is Bible study, I have this picture perfect idea of what it looks like and how it will go...to put it simply, Bible study is going nothing how I think it should go. To me it's like a sinking ship and I don't know whether I should try to save it or just build a new ship. I have recently had an encouraging conversation with someone who knows a lot about Bible studies and ministry. He laughed when we told about what was going on and encouraged us that it was ok, that it was good that we were taking risks.

Sometimes I am just so focused on what I need to do to reach others, to bring others to God that I forget the most important part....letting GOD work! I am just a vessel for God to use and it is silly for me to try to reach people for God without God's help! I am thankful that God is so patient with me because I almost always have to learn things the hard, long, painful way.

I am very much looking forward to what God had for my future but for now I am going to try to slow down and enjoy what God has for me today, if we are always looking to the future, we are missing out on what He has for us today!