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Whirlwind

Do you ever feel like your mind is a whirlwind of too many thoughts and things to do? That is how I feel, ever since I got back from Africa I have been so crazy busy! I shouldn't complain because the busyness is all good things! It's just that sometimes there is just so much that I feel like I don't have enough time to process anything before I'm running off to the next thing. So much has changed in the past month and I am so excited to see where God is taking me on this journey, only sometimes I feel like I freeze and can't move. I can see a path in the distance but it seems so hard to actually get there!

For the past 5 or so years of my life I thought I was going to be a full time missionary to Africa, working as a nurse missionary. A month ago I went to Africa on a missions trip and taught health classes. While I was there I knew God was speaking to me however, I didn't like what He had to say, or at least not at first. So, you know what I did? I argued with Him, yup that's right God and I were having a disagreement, looking back on it is silly to think that I was actually arguing with the One who created me, my Lord and Saviour, the perfect One. What was the argument you ask? Missions, God was telling me that while I love Africa, this was not the mission field He was calling me to, I would not be serving there full time like I have been dreaming about! At first I was angry, mad and hurt, I thought God, how can you say no? I am doing this for you! I love you and want to serve you here! You know I love missions! What do you mean no?

God gently replied, I'm not telling you no to missions, I'm saying no to Africa. This confused me for a while, until I was back in the States, then it hit me, my mission field is right where I am, God showed me what I am truly passionate about and that is college students! I want to continue to be a part of the lives of college students and help lead them in their faith or to God if they don't know Him. So where does this all leave me? I am currently praying about interning with an organization called Campus Crusade for Christ. I love this group and what it does. I am excited to pray about and look into becoming more involved in this organization and most importantly doing what God has called me to do!

Dreams

While moving I found a paper I wrote in 8th grade about what my life would be like when I was 30, it was an assignment for my language arts class. I still have 8 years before I'm 30 but so much of my dreams and what I thought life would be like has changed. In my paper I wrote that I would be an assistant veterinarian who graduated from UW Madison. I was also married with 3 children and living in my hometown. I also said I was going back to school to become a vet.

When I entered high school my dream changed, my sophomore year I decided that I didn't really like animals as much as I once had and I wanted to be a nurse. I wanted to help people because I care so much about people. Also around this time my grandpa was diagnosed with colon cancer, he spent the next 4 years in and out of hospitals, it was through that experience that confirmed that I wanted to be a nurse. I saw how much the good nurses impacted him and my family and I also so how a bad nurse can change everything. I wanted to be one of the good nurses who made a difference in the life of others. At this point in my life I thought I would go to Bellin College of Nursing and go back to hometown to live and work as a RN in the local hospital.

My parents got married right out of high school and so did my brother so naturally I assumed that this would be the case in my life too. Well friends, I am 22 and a college graduate and have yet to date anyone or ever be in love.

Another majore event happened when I was a sophomore in high school, I accepted Jesus Christ as my personal Lord and Savior. This was something that totally changed my life! (I will write more about this in a later post)

I never went to Bellin College of Nursing, I ended up going to Marian University. My sophomore year of college the dream once again changed. This time it was God calling me to a different path than the one I had for myself and I decided to listen. That year I felt a call towards missions in my life. I also decided to stop looking for my own dreams to come true and search for Gods plan, I decided that nothing else mattered as long as I am serving my Creator, nothing could be better.

So, what's life like now? Well I am one step away from being a RN and am doing everything possible to learn more about missions. I am so excited for that day when I will serve as a missionary nurse in a foreign country but for now I am going to serve where God as placed me......I have stopped trying to figure out the future and am just trying to enjoy the here and now and enjoy everyday the Lord as given me. I still hope to one day be married and have a family but I'm trying not to focus on that dream as much and joyfully accept whatever God has for me. For now I am just using everyday to get to know my God more and allow Him to captivate my heart.